Archive for September, 2007

why “Professional”?

This little article gets it right on many fronts, especially the impossibility of giving anyone a chance when you’re juggling a bunch of them. And not processing rejection but jumping right back online and how these people make the rest of us hate online dating.

But, not to crow, but I assume these industrious daters never got any money from online dating, whereas long-break-taking, focusing-on-one-guy-at-a-time moi did.

I love it when you do less work and get more money.

those wacky krauts

(I can thusly slur because I am one) Re this Bavarian pol’s modest proposal, don’t people kind of do this anyway?

dating jungle fever

aren’t all dating sites interracial?

The tagline is Sexy White Women and Black Men, but the second picture is of the Halle Berry-looking woman. does she represent your potential child?

more sleaze from true.com

Now they’re not paying their bills!

This story details some of the other sleaze, which I’ve also covered in book and blog. I still have my free membership and experience some of the other sleaze more directly: the fake wink. Guys will write me and say “thanks for the wink, I like you too” and I never winked at them. Some machine goes in and generates random winks.

burying the lede

So I’m reading about this purportedly funny, heartwarming book about a divorced 54-year-old’s wacky adventures online dating, and I get to this:

Another chapter tells the graphic and terrifying story of a date with a man she dubbed “The PREDaTOR,” who she said sexually assaulted her. She did not reveal his name but said he is a law enforcement official. She never pressed charges against him.

So let me get this straight, a cop assaulted (raped?) this woman, she wrote about it in a book, but won’t name names?!? I get why so many women don’t press charges, but if you’re going to go public anyway, why not do your sisters a favor and get this guy off the streets and out of uniform?

Furthermore, dog bites man

Here’s some science we all kinda knew. The last sentence is a succinct, sad-but-true way of putting it.

On the other hand, I do think online dating, as opposed to speed dating, can shift all this a bit. My book def. had cases of writing-attractions at least adding to if not superseding physical attraction.

some sort of lesson here

about perseverance, I suppose.

But why would she write him and then not answer him back? Watch your back, Chip.

Seeking Miss September; Renting Miss September

By folding fantasy into “the brand,” (I just loathe that term, can’t use it without quotes yet), Lavalife may be inviting some of the same shenanigans that just got a bunch of craigslist users busted.

The prostitution issue is so confusing. I’m totally with alternet that any shaming around sex is terrible and moves everyone backwards. (Shaming about torture and abuse, a la Amnesty International, I’m OK with.)

And prostitution is in a perfect world a perfectly victimless crime. But this woman I interviewed for salon who’d been a prostitute had another view that I can’t ignore. I also interviewed a young girl who claimed that, most of the time, turning tricks was incredibly empowering, but, well, I had to go to the ladies’ room and cry in the middle of one of our interviews.

Both advocates for prostitutes I talked to said the same thing, that the john is paying the girl to not be fully human. And you could see it happening to “Mary Lou” — “the life” was reducing her, piece by piece.

Liars you can trust

Tired of being cheated by your designated liar? We give you your crooked straight!

dating-self-disorders.com

Online psychotherapy seems even more booby-trapped than online dating. If people embellish, preen, obfuscate, etc. at the keyboard anyway, what possible chance does a shrink have of breaking down our most entrenched defenses while typing back and forth?

This made me laugh: “…e-mail was particularly useful for clients with “disorders of self” whose feelings fluctuate between abandonment and intrusiveness in relationships.”

I’d say that describes pretty much everyone on nerve.com (fastcupid)!

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