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I Love You, Let's Meet » there once was a website with verve…

there once was a website with verve…

Hi, JohnG here again, filling in for Virginia while she’s away polishing prose and the counselors’ apples at writers’ camp.

In addition to being an online dater, I’m a single father of two boys, 9 and 12. I try to keep the machinations of my social life to myself, but the last time I mentioned going on a date to them, the older boy tossed a very cool “You meet her online?” over his shoulder at me. Just the occasion for one of our father-son limerick writing sprees in a boldly paternal effort to avoid the subject, I thought. And so eminently bloggable, too!

By way of ridiculous rationalization, please consider the following: Slightly down the list from 1066, 1776, and 666 (the Year of Wealth and Taste, as our rock-roofed readers certainly know), one of the greatest dates in history was that of “The Owl and the Pussycat” chaperoned by Edward Lear, whose life seems to have been an incorrigible limerick-writing spree. Nonsense, you say? Ladies, I ask you, how many of your suitors arrive in a pea-green boat, intent upon carrying you off on a sea-faring adventure, all the while serenading you? How many were born with a runcible spoon in their mouths? And Owl was hot, I tell you–who wouldn’t be, wearing a down jacket in this weather? Perhaps the heat explains the febrile attempts at humor below.

First, a couple of trifles pandering, once again, to the women of OLD:

A boy saw a girl surfing Nerve,
Her body, he found, it did curve.
Had he looked at her face, he’d have known she’s an ace
At sussing out boys labeled “Perv.”

There once was a girl on a date
With a sad little boy she did hate.
For sex do I pine, but I’m out of my mind
Oh! He is a death worse than fate.

And here’s one for Virginia:

“Virginia,” he said, “let us meet;
Would you like a massage of your feet?”
“Your hands they are fine, the idea’s divine,
I love you, I love you, let’s meet!”

Before “dating” takes on a whole new meaning for me when my ex-wife has me locked away (for a year and a day) for corrupting the morals of her sons, we’ll churn out a few more for you, so stay tuned. Or maybe you’re ready to join her in an amicus brief at this point. Comments will not be construed as legal advice, and are welcome.

jg

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