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I Love You, Let's Meet » am I being too binary/baby-with-bathwater-throwing?

am I being too binary/baby-with-bathwater-throwing?

John G. after a few months of online dating remains open to the possibilities, thank god, unlike certain jaded, bitter, husks who delete without reading almost every incoming message from the scores of dating sites they signed up mostly to write their book (but happily not John G.’s incongruously smart and learned contact via creepy behemoth site true.com).

John and I took our meat selves to play poker last night with friends I’ve made IRL. On the Q train over, I remarked how I’d been looking for both a poker group and a writers group ever since I got to New York in 2000, and how it took more than five years of real-world social attempts to achieve both goals.

Today John e-mailed this,

Thanks, that was fun. I got home at quarter to three, but I had an extra $17.50 in my pocket! [Ed note: invariably the newbie wins at poker; it sucks ’em in like the first free shot of heroin or pack of 3-M post-its.]

I haven’t looked at the link below, but it’s a round-up of social
which could be a story for you. If you’ve soured on online dating, it still might be an evolving baby/bathwater situation. Take, for example, your poker and writers groups. Could the five years have been shortened by a good, appropriately designed social networking system that is truly about facilitating the transition from meeting online to meeting, say, on the corner of Fourth and Pacific?

The commercial interests are more about eyeballs on ads, so of course
they don’t want users to go off and sit around playing poker. But you could make an argument that while this kind of social networking is a few “clicks” away from a date, those are more organic, human clicks, have numerous corollary benefits other than dating, and are actually more likely to result in meeting and pursuing someone who is a real match, because it provides much more relevant information about the real life possibilities for a relationship.

I do know this of course, but it’s great to be reminded. I met John G. on the Internets. And my friend David who watched my cats while I was in Seattle. And other friends who led to other friends and dates and networking and collaboration via the non-Web web of meat-socializing (meating people?). Like treating depression with the combo of anti-depressants and talk therapy is better than either alone, so with a mix of on- and offline socializing.

Which is not to call singleness a disease or condition: the less the F2F encounters resemble “dating,” the more fun they are, which is what John was getting at, I think.

Another last-night example of the two worlds merging: one friend dropped 30 bucks at the 3-D poker table, then rode her bike home and made about half of that back playing online poker. Back and forth through the looking glass — no need to choose.

1 Comment so far

  1. Anne on August 25th, 2006

    meating people. I like that