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I Love You, Let's Meet » the online dating dance and other seasonal miseries

the online dating dance and other seasonal miseries

so I’m writing a man on nerve and I’m not sure what we’re doing. I wrote him first; he was totally my type, tall and gaunt, polysyllabic, a little obscure, funny, odd, unfashionable. The dreaded Who’s Viewed You feature showed me he checked me out right away — but took two weeks to write back. He was indirect, just picked up on a joke in my profile and made no other reference to me or “us” or dating or anything. So I waited a few days and wrote something equally brainy and non-directed, you know, casual, and so it’s been going, a message every week or so, and I’m not sure what one does now.

I mean I half like it not being all normal and datey and I sort of like the riffing and verbal play and all, and I don’t mind being the initiator, and it’s not like I like any of the guys contacting me…. It just makes me feel fatigued, you know?

As does daylight savings time, end of baseball, Halloween’s passing. From here on in, it’s not just cold and dark early, it’s that string of holidays designed to make single people feel like shit. Yes, I said designed. I DO think the pilgrims and Baby Jesus and Gregor the calendar dude and Saint Valentine and Hallmark all conspired to make us feel lousy through February. While we huddle inside, bantering with strangers at our computers.

Maybe I’ll skip that flu shot….

2 Comments so far

  1. rednaxela on November 3rd, 2006

    hate me now, or hate me later, but these are not good signs you’re telling us about — the delay, the indirectness, the wit. not to speak of your dating prerequisites (i know, you’re not entirely in control of those). online dating services are good for one thing only, which is putting your face in front of more people than would otherwise see it and facilitating the initial introductions. well, technically that’s two things, but you get my point. see if the guy wants to meet, and if not, bye bye.

  2. virginia on November 4th, 2006

    I read ya loud and clear, red, no hating at all. I didn’t even bother pushing it, am just dropping the communication myself with the slightly vampiric-looking fellow (not a diss, gaunt is my type, but maybe he can only write in certain phases of the moon).

    Meanwhile a really nice-seeming guy is writing nice stuff and saying “I’m not big on the long correspondence, let’s talk” and calling and everything. Sometimes you just need to experience a little normal to remember what it is.