VV at her gloomiest + Swedish + Marvin Gaye = WTF?

Foxy freelancer Katarina Andersson is splashing me all over Swedish media. As a typical monolingual American, I can only assume that the Aftonbladet article is as no-sun-for-months depressing as my English snippets in the radio piece.

I want to tell the Swedes, Hey, it’s not that bad! There are happy stories in my book too!

1 Comment so far

  1. virginia on March 17th, 2007

    Thanks to Kristina “Stinky” Johnsen for the following translation of the Aftonbladet article:

    “We are cynical shoppers in love.”
    Virginia Vitzthum looks at the other side of internet dating.
    Internet dating has decreased our ability to tie the romantic knot.
    We’ve been cynical shoppers in love.

    That’s what author Virginia Vitzthum found when she did a deep dive on the other side of digital dating in her new book ”I Love you – Let´s Meet.”
    The internet has opened huge possibilities in meeting new people for sex and relationships.
    In the US, it is estimated that 40 million people have tried online dating and in Sweden, the Match.com website boasts a half a million members.
    Success stories about how singles meet over the internet, get married, have children and Volvos are many and they proudly marked by different dating sites.
    But there is also a darker side to digital dating, according to Virginia Vitzthum.

    A search for seven years
    She, herself, has been involved in online dating. In the seven years that she was looking for love on the internet, she dated one man after another. She started as an internet dating rookie and eventually became a pro. In her book ”I love you – Let´s Meet”, the first serious look at modern love and romance in the digital world, she writes about her best and worst in online dating. The book also includes in-depth interviews with 20 people with different experiences in digital dating.

    Sad consequences
    When Virginia Vitzthum summarizes how she and several of her interviewees have been affected by internet dating, she points to three sad consequences:
    – First, online dating can be addictive, she says
    o If you have you been on a bad date, it only means it’s time to try and find someone else. You can find yourself sitting behind the computer for hours and read profile after profile and it just never ends.
    o A girl in ”I love you – Let´s meet” describes her dependency at continually dating new boys. On Saturdays she dated four different men and had to keep notes to remember who was who.
    – For others, the internet’s vast dating opportunities generate a type of shopping mentality says Vitzthum. One can always find something more attractive, better and cheaper around the corner, so why stop looking?
    o We don’t give each other a chance. When we meet someone over the internet who seems ‘so-so’ we hop over to another date, after all there are so many others to find on the sites. Maybe the guy only had a bad day, or perhaps things would have gone differently if we only met again?
    o Vitzthum was also rejected in a hot second by an internet partner with whom she’d been emailing for a couple of weeks before they met in a bar.
    ß You are too tall, he said, and turned his heels
    – The third negative aspect of digital dating is that we start behaving ourselves as if in a job interview, thinks Virginia Vitzthum.

    Often straight to the point

    The potential love interests must fill a real emptiness and we count on taking someone on as fast as possible if that person fills the craving. Otherwise it’s only to go on in one’s search for love. First-date conversations are often right to the point. When do you want to have children? Where do you want to live? How do you deal with conflict?
    It becomes like a cross examination to check off everything on our check list, says Vitzthum. Instead of discovering about one another with curiosity, we grill each other.

    Virginia Vitzthum’s seven years as a diligent internet dater yielded harsh results. A two-week long procrastination ended with a guy breaking up with her at the movies’ cash register was the best she got, she tells and laughs.

    It was ultimately my bad experiences in internet dating that got me to want to write the book, she says. It was a mystery to me why I never had any luck at meeting someone in that fashion.

    Katarina Andersson