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I Love You, Let's Meet » 2007 » November

Archive for November, 2007

a beer and some bloodwork


new science reveals: I am black!

this is a great gimmick — search for people based on their facial resemblance to celebrities. Because everybody’s gonna at least want to know who their celeb doppelgangers are.

I tried unsuccessfully to link to my page, so I’ll have to tell you: Over half my facial sisters are in fact sistas. And none of the “you kind of look likes” that I DO get are on here: the mom from Gilmore Girls, Debra Winger (back in the day), Maggie Gyllenhall.

Instead here are Janet Jackson, Gabrielle Union (twice), a seeming child named Gabby Soleil, a stone babe named Susan Ward, Marilyn McCoo, Catherine Keener, and my childhood hero Rhoda Morgenstern!  I wonder if a lot of guys begin their searches with “Looks like Valerie Harper.” (maybe some gay guys of a certain age would).

yikes, crazy blind date is ON!

I didn’t think they’d come up with a bachelor but they did. The geeks at OKCupid assume everyone has a cell phone and texts, so I hope my fellow geezer just shows up at the (formerly very trendy) bar they’re sending us to at the right time. They send us blurred pictures of each other and we each did a little self-description. I’ve blind-dated without a cell phone for this long, I don’t know why it wouldn’t work.

It seems like a long shot, but maybe random adventurousness will do the trick where picky picking hasn’t.

I’ll take Kansas over Oz

reading this post and comments from the Sydney Herald, I was catapulted (boomeranged?) back to a trip I took to Australia in the 90s for two weeks with a fellow I didn’t know very well. He was quite nice, generous, and gracious; it was nice to travel with a native and not be a tourist.

We stayed with several couples, friends of his, on our journey north from Sydney to Brisbane and I noticed that the men were nice in general, but really nasty to their wives and girlfriends. They’d call them “cow” and “pig” and roll their eyes at anything they said. The joke was always how dumb or inept or otherwise inferior the birds were to the blokes. It was like being in The Honeymooners or some other ancient sitcom. I kept waiting for one of these smart, funny, appealing women to give the men some shit back. I’d look at them whenever these zingers were launched and they weren’t laughing along. They looked somewhat angry but more hurt.

But they never protested. The misogyny was internalized in a way that I see again in this comment thread — and the story itself, by a woman, that blithely calls “scary” and “twisted” and “makes their skin crawl” rather innocuous behaviors by women like asking someone out, trying to decode a date, or — horrors — being funny.

Toward the end of the trip, I asked my traveling companion, who didn’t know me well enough to slag me, but did join his mates in ridiculing their women, “Why do you all do that?” He seemed to genuinely not know what I was talking about and when I explained, he sputtered, “It’s just joking, they don’t mind.” I said, “Look at their faces next time they’re being ‘joked’ at — they do so mind.”

A remark I heard a lot on my trip was that Australia’s greatest export was feminists. I could see why they left. Consumer culture here is pretty misogynist and in some ways getting worse, but flying back, I was grateful for American men who from my limited travels to Australia and Europe, do seem the least sexist in the world. (I haven’t spent time in Scandanavia, which seems to get lots of other social/cultural/political stuff right, so perhaps that’s gender Valhalla.)

“I sink maybe you need serapy.””

that’s my Dr. Ruth imitation. Good on J-Date for landing her. I fear she will be dismayed by the inhumanity, or if that’s too melodramatic, the chilliness of online dating

I signed up for this

Am I crazy? Blind? Dating? I guess so!

It’s from OK Cupid, who I like for being odd, so that’s partly why I did it. I’m also fairly sure they won’t be able to dig up a dude in his 40s, so I got to be brave without going on the date. I signed up for the 15th, the same night I also signed up for a free ticket to a sneak preview of Margot at the Wedding. Wouldn’t it be dreamy if OKCupid found me a guy who was psyched to see that movie and we fell in luv?!?

Honestly, my hopes are more along the lines that Margot is as good as The Squid and the Whale. Which everyone said was such a terrible movie title, but I didn’t think so. And I loved the movie.

dating causes PTSD

this hilarious new site basically likens dating to trauma that you need to be treated for “like a phobia” — so you can date more.

I guess they do the same thing with soldiers, treat ’em and send ’em back into battle.

OK, never mind, I am a fuddy-Luddy

I was just crowing a few posts ago about how cutting-edge I am compared with this curmudgeonly college kid who doesn’t think anybody could possibly meet online, and then I found this site vis this story on Wired, stuffed with references I mostly don’t get. (Though when visiting my nephews, I played so much Tetris that I dreamed about it one night. I asked them if that happened to them; they play hours of video games a week. They said No.)

Anyway, i’m in like with you seems like pure aggravating time-suck with lots of annoying beeps, and I realized the Wired guy’s assertion that this

dating site with bidding, competition, winners, and losers — you pose questions (or “games,” in the parlance of the service) for potential mates to bid on, and the resulting interactions are less stilted and artificial than conventional online dating services. That’s right, a gamelike environment feels more real than trying to mimic the experience of real-world dating.

does not apply to my experience of “feeling real.”

more found poetry

reminds me of Everything Is Illuminated, but harder to trace back to any original sense.

Take this gem:

If you carry a little clean that reflects his personality, you will have seen as an open and sincere person. You can add a small charm to his appearance while carrying a pair of interesting slopes,

I cannot puzzle out “little clean” or “interesting slopes” — but I love them. The whole thing is wonderful.

and damn those noisy horseless carriages, too

It’s rare that I’m calling someone else a Luddite — I’m still hoping that cell phones are a phase and that we shall one day return to making plans and sticking to them, by gum.

But this — presumably by a college student!— makes me feel like Techie McFuture. My faves are “the creep has the hots for her”; the assertion that anything but “turtle-paced” courtship is objectifying; and finally that we are in the (dawn of the) 20th century.

Those Picasso “portraits” don’t even look like real people!

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