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I Love You, Let's Meet » art about online dating

Archive for the 'art about online dating' Category

let him pain once time only rather than thousand times at

Who, who, who is the author of this strange and beautiful poem that turned up in my Google Alert? I quote the last line above, but many others are just as wonderful in a poignantly low-self-esteem way.

In particular: “He may be too kind or handsome for you.” I’m going to have to remember that one next time I want to politely decline further contact.

an avalanche of disappointment

here’s things I observed in my book, borne out by experiments. Not surprising, but still interesting, that women were more disappointed than men because they were more caught up in romantic fantasy about their mystery dates.

Also fascinating in a rueful, Magnetic-Fields-song kind of way that one negative trait leads to an “avalanche” — that’s how fragile the fantasy is.

This link from that story was slightly more cheering: I’m not a slut after all, I’m creative!

I know why he’s “Unwilling to Relocate” and “Never active”

notice anything fishy about this Norwegian farmer on J-date?? He was sent to me by a Dr. Ruthless, who heard me on NPR and remarked on how this guy sounded like Borat.

But what I noticed is that he’s a sculpture! I just saw this show and so recognize this J-dater, who lied about his weight and height: He’d be about 15 feet tall if he got up from his crouch.

90 percent sure this is parody

mildly amusing site; can’t tell if the letters are real.

world premiere of I Love You Let’s Meet: The YouTube Musical

and you can attend in your PJs!

If you like it, please visit YouTube (you can also click on the movie after it’s done to get there) and comment and rate it and pass it on (very easy to register).

I hope you like it. It was so fun to make, and I love having creative, talented friends who can whip up a little movie in a week: M. David Hornbuckle (he really does have a ukelele!) and Mary Myers and Diane Bernard (who’s making a great documentary that doesn’t have a website yet) and Claire Kirk and Esin Egit.

books have arrived!

so says my publisher; I haven’t seen them yet. So if you come to any of the readings marked on the calendar (Jan. 17 and 23; Feb. 1 and 4th in New York, Feb. 14 in DC, thus far), you can buy one if you want.

love stories

I’m filling out this e-mail interview for a book distributor and it’s all been easy and fun til this question:

I imagine that a person who writes a book on modern love and online dating might just be a romantic at heart. What’s your favorite love story (in book form)?

So far I have this [should I not worry that it’s not literary? Should I worry that so many of my favorite writers-about-love paint it as such a hopeless mess? is there another term for “traditional gender roles” that won’t put people off? Or should I not worry about being a feminazi? I can’t help it, it’s how I see the world and always have…]

I liked Norman Rush’s Mating, partly because it was romantic in a way that had nothing to do with traditional gender roles. A woman crosses the desert to be with the man she loves, a man whose jokes and adventurousness and avocation and mind and body she loves and vice versa. I believed they had each found The One. I read it in an all-woman book group and I remember the other gals saying “she seems kind of desperate” and I was defending her, “Now if it was a man risking life and limb to be with his love, we’d call it incredibly romantic! Why does the girl always have to sit in the tower waiting for the prince?!?” I also liked the title story of Melissa Bank’s Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing, which was written to answer Francis Ford’s Coppola’s challenge to please write a story that refutes The Rules, which was very popular then. I loved that Coppola was as horrified by The Rules as I was, and Bank’s story has the girl ending up with someone who really likes her the way she is.

OK, that’s what I have so far. To me, it seems terrifying enough to make yourself vulnerable to someone and let your hopes get up that he/she might love you back, that most versions of “romance,” with girls playing hard to get and guys playing their games seem like way more pain than is necessary.

I looked at my bookshelf and realized I also like how Nicholson Baker and Ian McEwan write about companionate love. Anyone else? I’m not going to steal your ideas or anything; I’m now just very curious about what sorts of love stories in books people most identify with.

art shouldn’t stand you up

so I went over to this opening which I mentioned a few days ago.

And there was nobody there. Did the gallery see me coming and not like my looks and rush to turn its lights off and lock its door?

I wasn’t the only one that bastard art show stood up; others were waiting outside the shuttered gallery too. No sign or anything.

Isn’t that odd? Could it be part of Miller’s stated objective “to acquaint myself with the protocols of Internet dating”? Were we stood-ups milling on the sidewalk being filmed maybe?

but did they get dates?

My “art about online dating” category has been sorely underused in this blog. But suddenly what to my copyediting (at Time Out) eyes should appear but two (2) gallery shows about online dating!

Kashya Hildebrand Gallery
531 W 25th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves (212-366-5757). Tue–Sat 11am–6pm.
Jeffrey Aaronson, “Maybe It’s You.” Aaronson ventured into the realm of online dating to find not one perfect cyber-match but many: Choosing from personals blurbs that intrigued him, he tracked down their creators and arrived at some compatible portrait subjects. Through Oct 7.

John Miller, “Total Transparency.” When Miller logged on to web sites like Lavalife.com and Womanline.com, his motivations were all business. The artist was fishing for data to incorporate into these photographic works that probe the social inner-workings of cyberspace dating. Sat 30–Nov 4

Here’s John Miller’s info. Maybe I’ll go to his opening. Not to cruise him, though; not only is he “all business,” but I’d have trouble with anyone who finds fruit more “grotesque than excrement.” Huh?

Maybe I shouldn’t snap-judge. I mean, you could be perfectly nice and be horrified by oranges, right? Maybe a jello trauma as a kid. And his fruit-and-miniature-town pie looks cute as can be.

there once was a website with verve…

Hi, JohnG here again, filling in for Virginia while she’s away polishing prose and the counselors’ apples at writers’ camp.

In addition to being an online dater, I’m a single father of two boys, 9 and 12. I try to keep the machinations of my social life to myself, but the last time I mentioned going on a date to them, the older boy tossed a very cool “You meet her online?” over his shoulder at me. Just the occasion for one of our father-son limerick writing sprees in a boldly paternal effort to avoid the subject, I thought. And so eminently bloggable, too!

By way of ridiculous rationalization, please consider the following: Slightly down the list from 1066, 1776, and 666 (the Year of Wealth and Taste, as our rock-roofed readers certainly know), one of the greatest dates in history was that of “The Owl and the Pussycat” chaperoned by Edward Lear, whose life seems to have been an incorrigible limerick-writing spree. Nonsense, you say? Ladies, I ask you, how many of your suitors arrive in a pea-green boat, intent upon carrying you off on a sea-faring adventure, all the while serenading you? How many were born with a runcible spoon in their mouths? And Owl was hot, I tell you–who wouldn’t be, wearing a down jacket in this weather? Perhaps the heat explains the febrile attempts at humor below.

First, a couple of trifles pandering, once again, to the women of OLD:

A boy saw a girl surfing Nerve,
Her body, he found, it did curve.
Had he looked at her face, he’d have known she’s an ace
At sussing out boys labeled “Perv.”

There once was a girl on a date
With a sad little boy she did hate.
For sex do I pine, but I’m out of my mind
Oh! He is a death worse than fate.

And here’s one for Virginia:

“Virginia,” he said, “let us meet;
Would you like a massage of your feet?”
“Your hands they are fine, the idea’s divine,
I love you, I love you, let’s meet!”

Before “dating” takes on a whole new meaning for me when my ex-wife has me locked away (for a year and a day) for corrupting the morals of her sons, we’ll churn out a few more for you, so stay tuned. Or maybe you’re ready to join her in an amicus brief at this point. Comments will not be construed as legal advice, and are welcome.


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